


love (coda)

by saucefx



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Introspection, M/M, Non-Explicit Sex, Psychological Drama, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-11-22 23:48:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20882681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saucefx/pseuds/saucefx
Summary: It takes less than one would think to make Felix say “I love you.”Fifty credits, maybe. A thousand if they want to hear it more than once, five thousand shirtless, seven thousand for a video. To put on a show.In their dynamic mercenary duo, Felix never fails to be the one who takes on the spy role of the team. He cheats and lies and fucks his way to the top at his own leisure until “I love you” blurs into “Fucking idiot” as he slits throat after throat in two.





	love (coda)

It takes less than one would think to make Felix say “I love you.”

Fifty credits, maybe. A thousand if they want to hear it more than once, five thousand shirtless, seven thousand for a video. To put on a show.

In their dynamic mercenary duo, Felix never fails to be the one who takes on the spy role of the team. He cheats and lies and fucks his way to the top at his own leisure until “I love you” blurs into “Fucking idiot” as he slits throat after throat in two. 

The love part is unimportant. The romantic part is for show, eye candy, a fun little trinket to flash in front of the target’s eyes like a carrot on a stick until they stumble into his arms time and time again. Nothing gets Felix’s pulse racing like holding a buff guy hostage in front of his sexy girlfriend.

Locus is too stiff to call him out on the hard-ons Felix may or may not get on the job. Why shouldn’t he get them? Killing is thrilling. And vanilla sex has always held the appeal of slapping his dick with a wet paper towel. 

_ N-no, please wait, don’t do this-! _

Aaaaand bang! Cue the waterworks. Locus can simmer about it all he wants like the moronic robot he is, it isn’t Felix’s fault he doesn’t remember how to have any fun. If playing up the cartoon-y villain role is what it’s going to take to crack some heads then surely one of them has to.

_ There was this bird, _ Felix drawled one evening, after Locus- who was Sam at the time- treated him to a round of satisfactorily rough sex.

_ It chirped so fucking early in the mornings. And every morning when I woke up I would hear the stupid thing cawing in my ear and I would throw rocks from my brother’s collection at it. But the stupid thing wouldn’t stop. _

_ So you killed it. _Locus had surmised, with the confidence of knowing someone through and through.

_ Let me finish, you prick. So I waited one morning and left the window open, not enough for Mom to bitch at me, just a little bit, and caught the fucker with a butterfly net. All it took were some seeds on the sill. _

_ ...And then? _His hand made its dangerous ascent up the back of Felix’s tank top as he picked at the mattress, feeling the warm skin of their legs as they brushed underneath thin covers.

_ Suffocated the damn thing. Crushed its little neck with my fingers while it screamed and pecked me the whole while. Should’ve seen how pissed Mom was when she found me slicing open its wings in the backyard. _

Locus hummed, at the time unphased. He’d seen Felix do worse in his moments of psychosis by then. _ I thought you lived in the colonies. _

_ We did. There was a dirt patch out behind the condos and we lived on the first floor. A stupid, broken glass-filled shithole for kids to play around. Mom was obsessed with old Earth, used to make us listen to all these boring songs about the good ole days and moan about pollution and gray skies. Pretty sure that was the angriest I’ve seen her get. Told me that birds were the closest thing to the ‘real deal’ we had. _

_ I left pamphlets about chicken factories that I pilfered from the principal’s office around until she went vegetarian. And then I left feathers all over the house. Mom didn’t remember it was me she told, thought it was Mosi or someone else. Anyways. Drove her right off the edge. _

They sit in silence for a minute after his story, Locus’s arm steady on Felix’s loose, unbothered form.

_ Aren’t you supposed to ask why I did it? _

The hand on his back resumes its petting, albeit more slowly than before. 

_ Isaac, I know why. _

And Felix mimicked his voice, high and annoying, before rolling over to face the other way. But Locus, his heart beat faster than any set of drums.

He thinks about the last time Felix said it to him. Thinks about him sprawled out on the couch when Locus came in bearing contraband alfredo pizza, his favorite, and the way Felix lit up like all of his prayers were answered and he opened his mouth from a grin to say

_ Locus! I- _

He thinks about how it didn’t mean anything to him. His words were currency, a means of exchanging intent and information in a way Felix learned how to navigate to inspire change. 

Locus thinks about trading in a thousand credits, or maybe five or ten-thousand not to hear it again but to have that piece of him back, the part that didn’t care. It was always the worst and the best part of himself when it came to Felix.

(-_ love you _.)

_ I love you, _ Felix whispered into his hair, and then pinched his arm with a smirk. It was raining outside the base, a thick, acidic rain scheduled for days. They were both stripped down to civvies, curled up together under a humid-sticky duvet. _ How do I sound? Do you think it’s believable for us to play idiots in love on… What’s the fucking name of the planet again? Chorus? _

_ I think we should take separate sides, _ Locus suggested at the time, unnerved by his friendly demeanor, intimidated by the intimacy as always. _ Both pretend to be unlikely saviors of the planet. _

_ That plan...doesn’t suck, actually! _There was nothing quite like watching Felix plot back then, smug as the cat who got the cream.The name was fitting that way. He pushed aside the bleached bangs of his hair that was growing out, flopping back into the mattress without caring what he looked like. 

Locus was the one person allowed to see him when he didn’t care. He was also the one who suggested different sides, concerned that Felix would fuck with his psyche even more than he already had if they remained physically together. 

But they were partners. He breathes. Felix claimed to not remember the first night they had sex. 

Until that night, Isaac had tried unsuccessfully, to coax Sam into bed for years. Sam killed his first alien and Isaac got that wide-eyed look on his face, slack-jawed like he turned sometimes when Sam did something that he found to be incredible. 

_ “I know who you’ll be now,” He panted, tongue pressed to Sam’s jaw. “Locus. Like a bug, like your armor.” _

_ “Original.” Locus droned, unable to help a shiver. Locus. A new beginning. A Christening. _

_Locus pinned down Felix and murmured a name, watching his lips curl up. He watched as they revealed shiny teeth, teeth like a predator, and knew that he had gotten it right. Who better to name each other? _

_ Felix tasted like cheap vodka and Locus cringed when he licked into his mouth but it didn’t matter because a thigh slid over his waist and he knew that it was all going to be perfect. _

_ That they were perfect. _

_ He panted the name until Locus couldn’t forget, slid his fingers in his short hair so fruitlessly that Locus resolved to never cut it again. Their fingers were still laced together when Felix passed out afterwards, mumbling something on the edge of a laugh that sounded like a plea for a shower. _

_ Locus squeezed them and watched his hand twitch in his sleep. _

_ He woke up the next morning before Felix and watched him dream for a little while. When Locus came back from his shower, Felix was doing half-naked yoga on his floor and swore at him for flipping on the light and ‘ruining a perfectly good hangover.’ They did not speak. Not about the things that mattered. _

_ Felix remembered enough to call him Locus, though. _

Locus refuses, above all else, to say it back.

No matter how much Felix smirks and prods, attempts to manipulate by bringing him lunch or laying in his bed all morning, the most he allows himself is miming the sign for ‘I love you’ when Felix has been breathing long and slow, sound asleep.

Locus speaks four different languages, yet his cheeks burn hot the first time that he does it. Forbidden and intimate, just for him. _ Te quiero _, he could whisper, but there’s a high chance Felix knows that one and then his cover would be blown. Failure is unacceptable, despite whatever emotional release it allows. 

Not that he’s even sure that he does love Felix. Felix has so many detestable flaws it would take a year to write them all out. But Locus has known him since they were scrappy young adults, Felix dressed in tight clothes with nicks on his neck from where he shaved, Locus with thin hands and greasy hair to match a sullen disposition. 

_ There was this bird, _ Felix drawled one evening, after Locus- who was Sam at the time- treated him to a round of rough, painfully discrete sex.

And Sam, in his dreams, rolled over, locked his thumbs around Felix’s neck and pressed until it cracked.

_ There was this bird, _ Felix drawled one afternoon, after Locus- who was unfortunately still Locus, watched him die.

I loved you, He speaks softly to himself in his dreams, because it’s easiest that way. Angry eyes and cold beers on the couch and punches to his arm whenever he understeps his bound. Nights spent making him jealous and missions spent swearing and scanning passerbys in protective alarm. 

Nobody could fuck up a mission like Felix could. Nobody took the orders, took one glance and then shredded the whole thing. Deleted the files. Did whatever he wanted because it was fun and violent and he thought it made him look cute. 

“I hated him.” Locus says out loud, because the Reds and Blues are glancing at him with too much interest, and Agent Washington backs away, his hands up in defense.

Tucker has a funny look on his face like he doesn’t quite believe Locus but that’s fine because he’s Washington’s 'right hand man’ and Wash can convince him anyways. 

**Author's Note:**

> ah. i love them.
> 
> saucefx.tumblr.com


End file.
